As each week goes, by there are more and more complications added to the equation which makes getting a clear perspective impossible. It is not only because I am new to the region that things do not seem to make any sense. It is also that most around me born to this land have no sense of what is taking place. The more I ask, the more I discover another eighty versions of how each individual feels. And the greater the confusion, the more likely to fall into erroneous black and white depictions of events.
Yesterday, on a grey balmy Tuesday, I went down to yet another protest. One not to miss as the so-called silent majority had decided to speak out in the capital. The time had come for the pro-Syrian factions to take a stance, make a show of force, and that is just what is was. This was unquestionably the largest number anyone had seen recently come together in Lebanon.
An Australian cameraman filming along the side lines mentioned: "I have been here for four years and it is the biggest thing I have ever seen." "It is from here to the airport, and they are still coming", expressed a protester, and by the bus loads and in from all parts of Lebanon.
When asked whether he was happy about the turn out, he explained: "I am really glad, it means I am not alone." Indeed, he was far from being alone as estimates ran as high as a million people attending, and from the perspective of the bystander the number seemed credible.
The protest was at the foot of the UN building, about a half a kilometer west from the Place des Martyrs, where the anti-Syrian coalition youth is living in their tent city of protest next to Hariri's grave. Although, once again there had been talk of the both groups protesting on the same day, this did not happen.
It was a day dedicated to listen to what the supporters of Lahoud and Syria had to say. A young man, Basel, full of hope like the people on the other side of the downtown, expressed with glee: "This is the real democracy. Two different streets, two different opinions, and no weapons." However, with emotions riding high, and idealism all around, the difference became more tangeable as the pro-Syrian factions spoke up. But first, let's start with the similarities.
In both protesting camps, each agree that the people do not want to revert to arms. Both groups are talking about a sovereign Lebanon, where a Lebanese government is in charge of the questions affecting the nation including no citizenship to Palestinians who have been living in camps for over 40 years throughout the country. As Abdallah said: "We respect the Palestianian as part of the Arab Nation, but they should not stay."
Both wish for more freedom, and this may intensify as their taste for freedom of speech increases with the upsurge and frequency of the protests.
All seem to agree that they want al-haqiqa, the truth, behind who murdered Hariri, and finally all factions are waving the Lebanese flag under the guise of a united Lebanon.
Yet many of these similarities resound difference when each group speaks of the other and the respective goals.
Pro-Syrian factions do not agree on the terms of departure of the Syrian presence prescribed in the 1559 resolution which the internationally backed opposition have petitioned for.
Some from the pro-Syrian factions said that Syria was like a brother made up geographically of the same group of people. Others described Syria as a protector and defender of the southern border. Many men and women were there to say: "Thank you to Assad and Syria", including the Syrians who were apparently shipped in for the protest.
All agreed at least publically that they did not want any foreign intervention from both French and American. A fifty year old and fluent English speaker explained that the reason why the US had turned its attention on democracy in Lebanon is because it wants to divert the attention from what is going on in Iraq.
Another repeated concern expressed by many was that if the anti-Syrian opposition were to come into power, they would deal-make with Israel. And Israel the constant Middle Eastern scape goat, is another point of contention when it comes to Hizbollah disarming.
"Hizbollah cannot disarm as long as there is an Arab Israeli conflict" explained another protester.
His statement lead me to wonder: "If the Palestinians and Israelis broker a peace treaty, does it mean that Lebanon will have to come to terms with present war with its southern neighbor? And would Hizbollah lose its political legitimacy and clout
without the "threat" of Israel? "
Meanwhile in the Place des Martyrs, the grey and by then cooling day was reflected the body language of the tent sitters hunkered down in their seats.
The green where the squat is located with at the bottom of it a dug out opening revealing a Roman arch system has been sealed off with red and white striped plastic tape.
Maurice a student in a English language Christian university in Achrafyie said that they had sealed off the compound with tape after young men with Hizbollah flags in a car drove by pointing their M16s in the direction of the encampment: "We are scared for our life. They have the power, they have the guns and the president".
However fearful, Maurice said he wouldn't be deterred as his hatred for the Syrian presence is greater than anything. He explained that the year before, he had been taken in for questioning over the desecration of a Lahoud poster in his village. "There is no political freedom here". When asked what independence meant to him, he explained: "To live free, to end the present government, and see a new one elected from the people... We want respect."
The wind picked up, Maurice rubbed his eyes from the dust. The pages of a newspaper were lifted in the air, pushed into the side of tents, finding obstacle in the legs of chairs, and the voices of the protesters a few streets over intensified as the air carried their voices now ecstaticly cheering as Nasrallah in one of his few public appearances took the stage.
When asking another what he thought of the magnitude, he lifted his shoulders and said: "It is their time to speak. We have been quiet for 29 years, now it is time." He mentioned this after saying that the fighting throughout the war had nothing to do with the Lebanese and everything to do with Syria and Israel which wanted to keep the country divided.
Depending on who one speaks with, there is unquestionably a level of amnesia and trend of blaming the other. Regardless of whether anyone was right or wrong and/or 'righted' and wronged during the war, the problem is that surely everyone was right and wrong. And that is what is coming out of the voices of the people on the streets.
Many on both sides of Syrian equation agree and or at least make solid possibly justifialbe arguments for their stance. But what seems crucial is for the political heads to work quickly toward a finding a productive platform of exchange and discussion where the people can vent and voice their concerns. Speed is crucial however.
The realities of a pro-Syrian group of men letting off a volley of bullets in Achrafiye as an act of intimiadationon Saturday evening, the wounding of an 18 year shot in the back on Sunday, and the word of mouth stories of a container being seized at the port filled not with radios, but weapons allegedly bought by some Christians, and rumors of the Palestinians arming up are not promising signs.
Lebanon should give itself the chance to sort out its differences and lack of trust through reliable and transparent political means rather than letting itself hash out its differences, sorrows, guilt, pain and confusion felt by its citizens through the barrel of the gun.